FROM MY HEART VOLUME ONE SHORT STORIES
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THIS BEST THING THAT YOU CAN HAVE IS A FAMILY. I HAVE SEEN WHAT DIFFERENCE IT MAKES WHEN YOU ARE SUPPORTED BY FAMILY. I THINK THAT THE POINT OF WHAT HAS MADE ME SO ANGRY IS THAT I JUST WANT TO LASH OUT AT ANYONE, BECAUSE I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND WHY MY MOTHER DID NOT ALLOW ME THAT CHANCE AT A REAL FAMILY BY LETTING THE WELFARE ADOPT ME OUT.
I AM NOT CRAZY OR INSANE, BUT I HAVE REACHED THE OUTER LIMITS OF MY MIND AND I AM REACHING INTO YOURS TO SAY LETS ALL MAKE A CHANGE IN THIS WORLD FOR A BETTER AND BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR THE GENERATIONS TO COME.
I AM NOT CRAZY OR INSANE, BUT I HAVE REACHED THE OUTER LIMITS OF MY MIND AND I AM REACHING INTO YOURS TO SAY LETS ALL MAKE A CHANGE IN THIS WORLD FOR A BETTER AND BRIGHTER FUTURE FOR THE GENERATIONS TO COME.
FROM
MY
HEART
VOLUME ONE
SHORT STORIES
BY
THE MISFORTUNES
COPYRIGHTS © 2013 SOUTHERN ACTS
TABLE OF CONTENT
DIS-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY
CROSSING THE LINE
BOUNDARIES
GUILTY
CAN I LEARN TO FORGIVE?
DON'T JUDGE ANYONE ELSE
INTRODUCTION
The stories that I write are true and from my heart. They are what I feel and what I need to tell, because if I feel this way, maybe someone else is feeling this pain and hurt also. Sometimes we do the wrong things and we have to pay the piper for what we have done. The feelings that I share are my deepest feelings and the anger that I show is because of what the human race has show me. I am not a protect human being, but I am one and I have the same rights as anyone else does, and more than some do at all. What I write for is to get your attention and help you to understand that we are all the same, we are human beings. Hope that you enjoy my stories, but most of all I hope your learning from my words.
I write because it is what I do.
I write just for you.
We are the
“THE MISFORTUNE
DIS-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY
I AM SITTING HERE UNDER MY TREE,
JUST WONDER WHAT I HAVE DONE TO MAKE ME.
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I AM MISSING A FAMILY THAT HAS NEVER SHARED A LIFE TOGETHER. I AM NOT SURE WHY THIS IS SO,
WE NEVER PLAYED BALL TOGETHER,
WE NEVER WENT FISHING TOGETHER,
AND WE DAMN SURE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE TOGETHER.
I THINK I HAVE ABOUT EIGHT OR TEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS SOMEWHERE, IF NOT DEAD. I ONLY MET THREE OF THEM IN MY LIFE. I REMEMBER MEETING MY GRANDPARENTS ONE DAY BECAUSE I REMEMBER THAT THEY COULD NOT SPEAK ONE WORD OF ENGLISH, AND I DAMN SURE DID NOT HAVE A CLUE TO WHAT THEY WERE SAYING. SO I DID NOT KNOW MY FAMILY LIKE YOU HAD A CHANCE TOO. SO THERE WAS NO ONE THERE TO WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIKE YOU.
I HAD A DAD, IF HE WAS MY DAD, AND I MET HIM ONE TIME WHEN I WAS LIKE 13, THEN AGAIN THE LAST YEAR OF HIS LIFE, BEFORE HE DIED, SO I DID NOT KNOW MY DAD, LIKE YOU HAD THE CHANCE TOO. SO I COULD NOT TELL MY FATHER HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD LIKE YOU GOT TOO.
I HAVE THREE CHILDREN OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I DO HOPE THAT ALL IS WELL FOR THEM, MY DAUGHTER IS 43 YEARS OLD AND THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE WAS WHEN SHE WAS 16, BECAUSE I CHOOSE MY LIFE SHE WALKED OUT THEN. I HAVE A SON THAT IS SOMEWHERE AROUND 35 NOW AND THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HIM WAS WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF I EVER CAUGHT HIM GAY BASHING, I WOULD KILL HIM MYSELF. THOSE WERE THE LAST WORDS BETWEEN US. I HAD ONE MORE, AND I REALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE THE ONE, MY PRIDE AND JOY. I WAS HIS MOTHER FOR THE FIRST PART OF HIS LIFE, GIVING HIM ALL THE LOVE I COULD. THE LAST TIME WE TALKED WAS WHEN HE CAME TO ME AND NEEDED A PLACE TO STAY, THEN HE STARTED TAKING AND TAKING UNTIL I WOULD NOT GIVE ANYMORE. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WANTED FROM ME, HE TOLD ME, ALL HE COULD GET, BECAUSE HE BLAMED ME FOR HIM BEING CALLED GAY, I OWED HIM SOMETHING. THIS BOY HAD BEEN GETTING A CHECK FROM MY SS FOR TEN YEARS AND HE DID NOT KNOW THAT BECAUSE HIS MOTHER WAS STEALING IT FROM HIM, BUT I OWED HIM. HE IS NOW 20 YEARS OLD SO FOR THAT I HAVE MISSED OUT ON THE FATHERS DAY THING, ONLY WISH I HAD A CHANCE TO ENJOY THEM SOMETIME.
LIKE YOU DO.
TO END THIS, IT WAS FLAG DAY, BUT I COULD ENJOY THAT DAY LIKE YOU WOULD, BECAUSE OF THE CHOOSES I HAVE MADE IN MY LIFE THAT IS FOR MY WELL BEING, I WAS JUDGED TODAY WHEN A MAN, HAD THE NERVE TO THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH HIM, BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO USE A BAG, I TOLD HIM I GOT HIS BAG BULLSHIT, TAKE HIS ASS AND HIS BAG THE HELL ON, HE CALLED THE COPS ON ME, BECAUSE HE SAID I UPSET HIS MOTHER, IT WAS NOT ME THAT UPSET HER, MORE THEN LIKELY IT WAS HIS MOUTH THAT UPSET HER.
SO I DID NOT GET TO ENJOY
THE DAY OF THE FLAG,
BECAUSE I WAS
BEING CALLED A FAG.
SO THANKS TO MY FAMILY FOR SHOVING ME RIGHT OUT OF YOUR USELESS LIVES, AND IF YOU ALL ARE AN IMAGE OF WHAT YOUR GOD IS LIKE, THEN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MISSED THE BEST OF ME.
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CROSSING THE LINE
I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT OUR WEEKEND AND HOW THINGS ARE GOING FOR US. AS YOU KNOW I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. WHY IS IT, THAT PEOPLE SHUN US? I THINK THAT IT IS BECAUSE THEY FEAR US AND WHAT WE ARE, WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU IN THE THINGS THAT WE DO. I HAVE BEEN WRITING BECAUSE I NEED TO AND BECAUSE IT IS WHAT I DO. I WANT TO THANK MY FRIEND FOR THAT; SHE HAS SHOWN ME WHAT IT IS I NEED TO DO.
MY LIFE IS FALLING APART AROUND ME, YET I CAN NOT STOP WRITING, I AM SURE THAT WHEN I STOP I WILL BE CRYING BECAUSE I ALREALLY MISS HER AND SHE HAS NOT EVEN LEFT YET. I CAN NOT HELP THE WAY I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW AND I AM NOT SURE WHAT I WILL SAY. MY HEART IS BROKEN YET I KNOW THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE.
I WRITE ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT, AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TREAT SOMEONE AS THOUGH THEY ARE, I TREATED SOMEONE THAT WAS DIFFERENT VERY WRONG AND NOW I WILL BE PAYING THAT PRICE. IT HAS COME TO THE TIME WHEN WE ARE STARTING TO PART OUR WAYS AND I AM NOT GOING TO LIE ABOUT THE WAY I AM FEELING, I AM HURT ,BUT YET I KNEW THAT I WAS WRONG AND IT IS TO LATE TO TRY AND FIX IT, I DON'T THINK IT CAN BE FIXED. WE HAVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE EVERYTHING IS SOMEONE ELSE FAULT AND NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE THE BLAME, IS IT TIME TO THROW IN THE TOWEL?
I AM FEELING A LITTLE DOWN AS I WRITE, BUT I MUST KEEP GOING. I HAVE BEEN WRITING FROM MY HEART AND I HAVE BEEN SETTING MY BOOK OF POEMS OUT ON MY TABLE AT THE MARKET PLACE, SO THAT I CAN GET SOME FEED BACK FROM THOSE THAT READ IT. WHAT I HAVE FOUND IS THAT I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS ALL WRONG, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE THEM SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING WRONG, SHOW THEM WHAT I AM DOING RIGHT, I HAVE COME TO NOTICE THAT BY HAVING MY WRITING'S THERE PEOPLE ARE READING IT AND REALIZING THAT I AM A HUMAN BEING JUST LIKE THEM, THERE IS REALLY NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
WHAT AM SEEING IS THAT THOSE THAT STOP AND READ, FIND THAT THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT MAKES THEM WANT TO KNOW MORE, I HAVE HAD PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT SELLING MY BOOK OF POEMS SO I AM WORKING ON GETTING THEM PUBLISTED.
THE THING THAT I HAVE NOTICED IS THE FACT THAT I TRUELY BELIEVE THEY ARE AFARID OF ME, AND THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT, SO WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING IS GETTING THEM TO TALK TO ME AND GETTING THEIR ATTENTION. YOU CAN NOT JUDGE ME IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, SO IF I GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO KNOW ME, THEN IT WILL BE UP TO THEM TO STAY OR WALK AWAY. ITS LIKE BREAKING THE ICE, AND ALLOWING THEM TO SEE THE TRUE ME IN MY WORDS THAT I WRITE AND SPEAK.
IT'S GETTING THEM TO CROSS THAT LINE AND STEP INTO MY WORLD SO THAT I MAY SHOW THEM MY WAYS OF JUST BEING HUMAN.
SO NOW I FEEL THE NEED TO SHOW MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WHAT I DO
THAT IS WRITING.
JUST FOR YOU.
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Boundaries
Another day coming to an end for me, as I sit under my tree. I look out over the land to see just how far I can. You would think that there are no boundaries to stop your way; well it does not work like that I am sorry to say.
What are boundaries and why are they set into place for us to see? It is because that is the way it has to be.
Everyone has their own little world and when someone else tries to come into that world and change things that were set into place, it is called over stepping your boundaries, in plain English you have stepped into their world and shut them down. It does not matter that you don't see it, most of the time the damage is already done when this person say's anything about it. When it comes to the time where they cannot deal with it any longer they are going to want out. You can try anything you like; it just will not work for them anymore.
I am guilty of that myself that is what I have done to us. I have overstepped my boundaries when I shut my girlfriend down. I do not have or had that right in the first place, but because I needed someone to help me, I controlled everything we done.
Now I thought that I could get us up and running, because I had done it in the past. In the past I done it because I was a man, but now because I have changed my life and started on my path to be a woman, I have over stepped her boundaries and got her to be with me.
But like anything else there is a price to pay. Now we have gotten to the point that we may have to go our own ways, not because we want to, but because we may have to.
Sometimes You may wonder why would someone sit here and write this for anyone to read it, that is why I write, because I want you to read this and maybe someone else that is doing the same thing will read this. It is wrong what I do, I am not proud of myself at all, yet I do not want to be alone and it is hard for me just to let her go,
I cannot say that it would break my heart because I did that a long time ago when I shut her down from having some fun in life. Because of my heath things have changed here and all I want to do is my writing, but she wants to run and sing, I can't really do any of those things. She is like a Beautiful bird that flies above, she only wants to spread her wings and find her love. I can love her all I want, but that does not give me the right to overstep her boundaries, I would not want you to over step mine, because it ain't happening today.
I cannot blame her for being angry at me for what I have done, but I can and will blame myself for putting her on the run. I say run because I have told her that she needs to get away from someone like me, I am a bad person that does not respect her wishes, I am the one that judged her and what she is.
You will not believe that it was me trying to protect her when she needed protection from me. She was just trying to live her life, now I got her in my life, when all she wanted to do was be free.
She has not done anything wrong yet I accuse her of doing so before she ever leaves the house, so she just can't get up and go anywhere because of me.
So here we are back to the same question, why do I write here, because I love you my dear, I am proud of what you are making of me, you have taken along time, but maybe I am about to see. I always knew that I was a foolish man, but I did not know just how much of a fool I am.
There is no one that has ever given me anything till you came along, now I have everything I could want to own.
MYSELF
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GUILTLY
Sitting at my desk wanting to write, yet not sure what to write about. As you have read, we are having some problems and more than likely we will be parting ways is not because we don't love each other, it is because we do love each other.
You ask yourself why we would do that if we truly loved as we say we do. That is the thing, if I keep her here anymore than she wants to be here, then I am not respecting her wishes, am I. It is rough on me, for I am the one that does not want her to go, I will be honest, I need her, she has been the biggest part of my life, I have never met such a Human being as her. There have been times when just anything would set me off and I would just start yelling at her, she didn't do anything.
We have tried different things to try and help me. I am not sure if there is any help for me.
The way I see myself and what I am doing reminds me of all the bad that has happen to me. Somehow it is like everything that anyone has ever done me, I am doing to her.
I tell her I love her yet she has asked that I let her go home. I thought that she was home. The thing is that my life has changed and I am not sure that we are right for each other. I have been dealing with myself, and the guilt that I have had to endure because of what I do. I did not know what would happen when I tried to take over her life and called it love. In my heart I assumed that I was protecting her from the world around her, because of the fact that she is a musician and has been here all her life. The only thing wrong with that was she met me. Her life was simple and she was not doing anything but what she liked to do, when I came in, I was already being attacked by the public, so this is not new to me. I have been this way a long time and more than once someone has threaten me in public, and when it all comes down to it, it is always my fault, because I have chosen to live this way. I have been standing alone for the most part of my battle and I will continue to do so if I must. It is not for my rights that I fight for anymore, it is your rights to choose your way of life. Do you even realize that I started this battle before most of you were even born?
For 50 years I have seen the hatred and it has not changed for the most part, but I have changed and I am more ready to fight now then I have ever been and it is because of her I fight now, for her rights to live free, for her rights to be what she wants to be, for her rights just to be-able to walk away from me.
So because of what I might do, I feel that I must allow her to leave, This is the way I am looking at all this, I want to write and I want to fight, I do not want to get old, I do not want to be where I cannot care for me, I will die for the rights to be free, for it is part of my Density, and I am sure that I do not want her to see my end. I just want her to be my friend
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Can I learn to forgive?
I got to cook today, and for me that means a lot. It's not every day I can feel that way. I love to cook and make up a nice plate for Dinner, and when I have someone to do it for, it makes things even better.
I have been going through a lot of things and I am mentally and physically tired. I am trying now just to relax for a while; I have taken three pain pills and would like not to take any more tonight. There is one thing I can say about the Marine Corp I was in is that they taught you how to endure pain.
My friend Madame Jacqueline is doing just great as for being a friend, yet I cannot help but feel that I am hurting her as well as myself. Because of me, she has not had a chance to get a gig. I cannot help but feel that because of me things will get rough around here.
I called the People that are suppose to help people like me to live on our own, so that we can still feel like part of something. I asked if there was a program that would help me pay for help, so I could live at home and not in a home. She told me that the only thing that she could do was to have someone come to me three days a week to help me get dressed and cook for me, help me to clean, but I would have to give them 260.00 dollars out of my SS which is only 850.00 and as for as me not being able to drive, I would have to sit at where ever I had to go till the van came back to get me.
It's like I worked and I paid and I work some more for what. Oh, they will not come if someone else is living with me, get that. So I thought about a nursing home, I need to be thinking about these things because they look like they could be part of my future. Anyway, If I need to go there, they will take everything that is in my name away from me, and I will not be allow to have anything like a PC or anything else, They will take my van, anything in my checking account and my check every month. I will have nothing. There goes my freedom.
I will not give up so easy; we are going back to the Flea Market and try to move forward with our lives. I have decided that things will change for us, I am not putting out my signs or any photos of us, We are going out there to sell whatever we can, because we have no choice, I will not let anyone ever stop me from doing what I want to do or saying what I want to say, But I will also forgive anyone that thinks they are better than me or Madame.
I will forgive any fool that thinks he has the right to call us or any one like us names, I will forgive the asshole that thinks he is God. Because I am better than that, I am better than any of them. We will go and set up with our junk and if you come by fine, if you don't you lose, not me, I am One of the most interesting people I know. I can tell you a story and you will not know what is real. God give me a Brain to use as I see fit.
It is the only thing that I can control. and I need help with that, But most of all I have feelings, I hurt inside, In my life I have committed so much sin that I will never see Heaven or God.
I believe that God has chosen people like me to carry that cross that has become our burden, We are all now expected to live up to Gods way. Man has changed the holly words to make you believe what they want you to believe. There were no words written by God, but by Man.
In the name of God people have died, because someone else thinks that their God is telling them to do these things to others, that is not what God is about.
God to me is about what I do here, when I sit here and try to understand why and how did we become the creature with so much hate inside us that we would harm another human creature, yes, we are but creatures of God, just like all the rest of his Creatures, and I do not use the word as to say that God is a man, God is our voices, our cry's, our sadness and pain, God is our love and understanding, we are all part of what God is, but to have Good there must be evil, I am that evil here, that hatred, that hurting and that pain, You cannot hide, because we are everywhere. The fear that I put into your head brings your God closer to your heart, I cannot change the things that I have done, but I can change the way I feel about myself. I have never before been so afraid of death than I am right now. Because I was not allowed to walk into the House of your God, I feel that I am dammed for Hell.
We are going out to the Flea Market and I really don't care about anything but trying to sell something to help me keep my friend here to take care of me. I ask for nothing but respect and allow us to do what we need to do and earn something.
It is no longer important to me about how you feel about me.
It is more important to me to care about how I feel about me.
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DON'T JUDGE ANYONE ELSE
A lot of times we tend to judge a book by the cover, or for you that don't understand, we judge someone before we take the time to know who we are talking to. I have done it and so have you. It is in our nature to do that, but the right thing is to take the time to at least speak to the book, and then judge it.
I have been dealing with a lot of hate inside myself, and it has cause me to judge and doubt others before we speak
As you know by now we try to sell things at the market just like anyone else would, and there was confusion as to what I am. I am a human being first, asshole second, and in the end I am just like you, a person that has feelings and I cry just like you. Because of the way my life has been over the years, I had made a stand to write and speak about being different.
When things got rough and we were being treated badly out there, I just wanted to hate everyone, because I did not know who I could trust anymore, so I just started from the beginning. This is the way I see this, If you know me, and you say you are my friend then why do you call me he/ him/ sir/ I'm your brother, oh, yes, hey man, excuse me, but does it look like I want to be call anything else then Miss. I’m sorry if I come on strong, but if I look at you and I know you and you are my friend, then I will call you whatever you have chosen to be called. So if you are an asshole, rest assured I will call you that, because that is what you have shown me.
As a writer one must write about something, I have chosen to write about my life as a transgender living in what I call hell, but really it's just south Ga, lol. Anyway, I could have moved at anytime I wanted to I guest, but just how much of this fun I would have missed. Hell I live with a cross-dresser that does not care what anyone says about him/ her; I call her/ her, because it is the her, in her that I love. It does not matter how bad it get's with us, it can never be as bad as it was living with a woman, For them I had to be everything, the worker, the driver the man, huh, anyway, for This one I am allowed to be myself, and live the way I want to live, she has never stopped me from doing what I want to, but I have not done the same for her. You see, an artist has to have some sort of a model to draw, like a carpenter needs wood to build, A writer needs inspiration, sure I can sit here and write a tail or two, but I write about me, because I am a tail or two myself.
We are having problems because what I do is nonprofit, there is no income, I cannot pay her to take care of me, that means that I will have to let her go, so she can fine work and not lose her home, or I have to leave my home to help her. You may think, so one of you move, it's not that easy. Just because we are both transgender people that does not mean that we are perfect for each other.
I am going to be 62 in a few days, she is only 52 now. I am dying and she just wants to live, my life is coming to an end and hers has not begun, I am weak, she is strong, but because I have no one to care for me, she is trapped here to deal with my mood swings and it is hard for her to see me in so much pain that tears fall from my eyes, and there is nothing she can do. She tries hard to make me take my meds, but the pain is so bad at that point that I feel like why am I forced to live like this, what is it that I have not done, why can't I just go home?
This is the way I see this, do not make the mistake and take this anyway, but the way I write it. All my life, I have been told of this great God of yours, how he/she is suppose to love everyone here on this planet, yet you stand there and tell me I am going to hell, that I am the devil himself, that your Gods does not love me, well here we are, either you are lying and have no clue who your god is or, that your God sucks, because if you are an image of your God, we've all lose anyway. You see, it does not matter how much you believe in something that does not make it right. The way I see it is that your God really does love everyone, it is you that has the problems, and not you’re God.
I have wings like an angel yet that does not make me one. What I am is all the hate and all the hurt that you can shove down someone’s throat till they cannot and will not stand for it anymore. I am that person that will tell you to your face that you are a fool and that you are nothing like your God.
You see, I remember when Jesus was carrying that cross on his shoulder and I remember the blood flowing down his face as the crown of thorns cut into his forehead. The pain that he had to endure for you was unbelievable, He was put here by the same God that you worship and respect, as the father and Creator of all of us, then why would you question his creations such as me?
I do not walk with the Gods of our world, but I believe that I have been allowed the ability to write and speak out to stop the hatred and the discrimination against anyone for anything. I have chosen to carry that cross and my crown of thorns is the pain in my heart, Tell me about what is hurting you, allow me to help carry that cross, allow me to share your pain and I will shed your tears for you if I can.
Like many before that have had a Dream and have died for that Dream. I am not crazy or am I mad, I have been shown the way that it needs to be before any of us can live with the love and understanding of others.
Like many before me, I am mad at myself because I am dying and I cannot stop that, but it is not how I want to die. My idea of dying is being shoot or something standing up against hatred, I mean let me die for a cause for something that will make a difference, I am not a fool to stand in front of a man with a gun and challenge him when he feels he can disrespect me or anyone else for that matter, I will be the one to ask him if his gun is his balls and if he chooses to shoot me great, I have died for a cause, and his ass is grass. You see I am not afraid to die; it is how I will die that I am afraid of.
We are going into some changes in our lives right now and we are not sure how this will end, the thing is that all this, that is going on in my life, was not part of her life, because I have brought her into my life, it has cause some unrest between us, this is my battle that I have chosen to fight, I am the one that has been attacked over and over again and I am the one that has been chosen to say enough of your bullshit believes about what you think your God would do to me. I am not here to be judged by some 200 lbs dumb ass bitch or some redneck that picks his nose, what I am here for is to tell them that they have a problem themselves, don't judge anyone else.
The thing is I became just what I am fighting this weekend, I just wanted to tell everyone where they were wrong and that they needed to hear that from someone. I was angry at the whole flea market for what they done to us.
Sunday I was so hurt that I did not even want to go, but I had to, just for myself, I wanted to just sit there with a few things on my table and I put my writings there with my art work just to show people that I was not a bad person, that I had feelings and I cried some too. I was just going to tell them that I had nothing for sale except me. I wanted to see if there was anyone that would read what I write. Being hurt I would not speak, so they would read and just say that was ok, better good. I liked that, but the most heart-warming feedback was when a lady came with her husband but she always sat in the car, for some reason she got out and was looking around when she started reading and her husband was done, but she just kept on reading then told him that she like the writing, but said she did not know the writer, when I said it was me, she could not believe that someone like me would be able to write like that, because it was how her own son was feeling about his life, because he was gay, She than told me of him and that she felt what I wrote and that she would look at her own son with more open eyes.
I cried and I was really touched because at the same time a friend had stopped to say hello and walked right into it, I told them that I was going to stop writing and going to the market, and they told me that what I write about would help others like myself and my friend, It may not help me, but If I can open just one door for someone to follow through in life then I have done what I am suppose to do.
You need to remember that if you feel what I do is a sin.
Think about what you are doing to me, that is a greater sin.
If I am wrong then let your God deal with me.
You leave me that hell out of your life if you don't like me.
I am sure as hell going to leave you out of mine.
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YOU DO NOT HAVE OUR PERMISSION
TO SHARE THIS
SOUTHERN ACTS ENTERPRISES
SOUTHERN ACTS PRESENT'S
"THE MISFORTUNES"
WRITTEN BY BOBBIE JEAN CHIASSON
EDITED BY STEVEN LAWHORN
MY
HEART
VOLUME ONE
SHORT STORIES
BY
THE MISFORTUNES
COPYRIGHTS © 2013 SOUTHERN ACTS
TABLE OF CONTENT
DIS-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY
CROSSING THE LINE
BOUNDARIES
GUILTY
CAN I LEARN TO FORGIVE?
DON'T JUDGE ANYONE ELSE
INTRODUCTION
The stories that I write are true and from my heart. They are what I feel and what I need to tell, because if I feel this way, maybe someone else is feeling this pain and hurt also. Sometimes we do the wrong things and we have to pay the piper for what we have done. The feelings that I share are my deepest feelings and the anger that I show is because of what the human race has show me. I am not a protect human being, but I am one and I have the same rights as anyone else does, and more than some do at all. What I write for is to get your attention and help you to understand that we are all the same, we are human beings. Hope that you enjoy my stories, but most of all I hope your learning from my words.
I write because it is what I do.
I write just for you.
We are the
“THE MISFORTUNE
DIS-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY
I AM SITTING HERE UNDER MY TREE,
JUST WONDER WHAT I HAVE DONE TO MAKE ME.
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I AM MISSING A FAMILY THAT HAS NEVER SHARED A LIFE TOGETHER. I AM NOT SURE WHY THIS IS SO,
WE NEVER PLAYED BALL TOGETHER,
WE NEVER WENT FISHING TOGETHER,
AND WE DAMN SURE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE TOGETHER.
I THINK I HAVE ABOUT EIGHT OR TEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS SOMEWHERE, IF NOT DEAD. I ONLY MET THREE OF THEM IN MY LIFE. I REMEMBER MEETING MY GRANDPARENTS ONE DAY BECAUSE I REMEMBER THAT THEY COULD NOT SPEAK ONE WORD OF ENGLISH, AND I DAMN SURE DID NOT HAVE A CLUE TO WHAT THEY WERE SAYING. SO I DID NOT KNOW MY FAMILY LIKE YOU HAD A CHANCE TOO. SO THERE WAS NO ONE THERE TO WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIKE YOU.
I HAD A DAD, IF HE WAS MY DAD, AND I MET HIM ONE TIME WHEN I WAS LIKE 13, THEN AGAIN THE LAST YEAR OF HIS LIFE, BEFORE HE DIED, SO I DID NOT KNOW MY DAD, LIKE YOU HAD THE CHANCE TOO. SO I COULD NOT TELL MY FATHER HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD LIKE YOU GOT TOO.
I HAVE THREE CHILDREN OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I DO HOPE THAT ALL IS WELL FOR THEM, MY DAUGHTER IS 43 YEARS OLD AND THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE WAS WHEN SHE WAS 16, BECAUSE I CHOOSE MY LIFE SHE WALKED OUT THEN. I HAVE A SON THAT IS SOMEWHERE AROUND 35 NOW AND THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO HIM WAS WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF I EVER CAUGHT HIM GAY BASHING, I WOULD KILL HIM MYSELF. THOSE WERE THE LAST WORDS BETWEEN US. I HAD ONE MORE, AND I REALLY THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE THE ONE, MY PRIDE AND JOY. I WAS HIS MOTHER FOR THE FIRST PART OF HIS LIFE, GIVING HIM ALL THE LOVE I COULD. THE LAST TIME WE TALKED WAS WHEN HE CAME TO ME AND NEEDED A PLACE TO STAY, THEN HE STARTED TAKING AND TAKING UNTIL I WOULD NOT GIVE ANYMORE. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT HE WANTED FROM ME, HE TOLD ME, ALL HE COULD GET, BECAUSE HE BLAMED ME FOR HIM BEING CALLED GAY, I OWED HIM SOMETHING. THIS BOY HAD BEEN GETTING A CHECK FROM MY SS FOR TEN YEARS AND HE DID NOT KNOW THAT BECAUSE HIS MOTHER WAS STEALING IT FROM HIM, BUT I OWED HIM. HE IS NOW 20 YEARS OLD SO FOR THAT I HAVE MISSED OUT ON THE FATHERS DAY THING, ONLY WISH I HAD A CHANCE TO ENJOY THEM SOMETIME.
LIKE YOU DO.
TO END THIS, IT WAS FLAG DAY, BUT I COULD ENJOY THAT DAY LIKE YOU WOULD, BECAUSE OF THE CHOOSES I HAVE MADE IN MY LIFE THAT IS FOR MY WELL BEING, I WAS JUDGED TODAY WHEN A MAN, HAD THE NERVE TO THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH HIM, BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO USE A BAG, I TOLD HIM I GOT HIS BAG BULLSHIT, TAKE HIS ASS AND HIS BAG THE HELL ON, HE CALLED THE COPS ON ME, BECAUSE HE SAID I UPSET HIS MOTHER, IT WAS NOT ME THAT UPSET HER, MORE THEN LIKELY IT WAS HIS MOUTH THAT UPSET HER.
SO I DID NOT GET TO ENJOY
THE DAY OF THE FLAG,
BECAUSE I WAS
BEING CALLED A FAG.
SO THANKS TO MY FAMILY FOR SHOVING ME RIGHT OUT OF YOUR USELESS LIVES, AND IF YOU ALL ARE AN IMAGE OF WHAT YOUR GOD IS LIKE, THEN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU HAVE MISSED THE BEST OF ME.
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CROSSING THE LINE
I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT OUR WEEKEND AND HOW THINGS ARE GOING FOR US. AS YOU KNOW I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. WHY IS IT, THAT PEOPLE SHUN US? I THINK THAT IT IS BECAUSE THEY FEAR US AND WHAT WE ARE, WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU IN THE THINGS THAT WE DO. I HAVE BEEN WRITING BECAUSE I NEED TO AND BECAUSE IT IS WHAT I DO. I WANT TO THANK MY FRIEND FOR THAT; SHE HAS SHOWN ME WHAT IT IS I NEED TO DO.
MY LIFE IS FALLING APART AROUND ME, YET I CAN NOT STOP WRITING, I AM SURE THAT WHEN I STOP I WILL BE CRYING BECAUSE I ALREALLY MISS HER AND SHE HAS NOT EVEN LEFT YET. I CAN NOT HELP THE WAY I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW AND I AM NOT SURE WHAT I WILL SAY. MY HEART IS BROKEN YET I KNOW THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE.
I WRITE ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT, AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TREAT SOMEONE AS THOUGH THEY ARE, I TREATED SOMEONE THAT WAS DIFFERENT VERY WRONG AND NOW I WILL BE PAYING THAT PRICE. IT HAS COME TO THE TIME WHEN WE ARE STARTING TO PART OUR WAYS AND I AM NOT GOING TO LIE ABOUT THE WAY I AM FEELING, I AM HURT ,BUT YET I KNEW THAT I WAS WRONG AND IT IS TO LATE TO TRY AND FIX IT, I DON'T THINK IT CAN BE FIXED. WE HAVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE EVERYTHING IS SOMEONE ELSE FAULT AND NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE THE BLAME, IS IT TIME TO THROW IN THE TOWEL?
I AM FEELING A LITTLE DOWN AS I WRITE, BUT I MUST KEEP GOING. I HAVE BEEN WRITING FROM MY HEART AND I HAVE BEEN SETTING MY BOOK OF POEMS OUT ON MY TABLE AT THE MARKET PLACE, SO THAT I CAN GET SOME FEED BACK FROM THOSE THAT READ IT. WHAT I HAVE FOUND IS THAT I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS ALL WRONG, INSTEAD OF TRYING TO MAKE THEM SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING WRONG, SHOW THEM WHAT I AM DOING RIGHT, I HAVE COME TO NOTICE THAT BY HAVING MY WRITING'S THERE PEOPLE ARE READING IT AND REALIZING THAT I AM A HUMAN BEING JUST LIKE THEM, THERE IS REALLY NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
WHAT AM SEEING IS THAT THOSE THAT STOP AND READ, FIND THAT THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT ME THAT MAKES THEM WANT TO KNOW MORE, I HAVE HAD PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT SELLING MY BOOK OF POEMS SO I AM WORKING ON GETTING THEM PUBLISTED.
THE THING THAT I HAVE NOTICED IS THE FACT THAT I TRUELY BELIEVE THEY ARE AFARID OF ME, AND THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO ACT, SO WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING IS GETTING THEM TO TALK TO ME AND GETTING THEIR ATTENTION. YOU CAN NOT JUDGE ME IF YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, SO IF I GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO KNOW ME, THEN IT WILL BE UP TO THEM TO STAY OR WALK AWAY. ITS LIKE BREAKING THE ICE, AND ALLOWING THEM TO SEE THE TRUE ME IN MY WORDS THAT I WRITE AND SPEAK.
IT'S GETTING THEM TO CROSS THAT LINE AND STEP INTO MY WORLD SO THAT I MAY SHOW THEM MY WAYS OF JUST BEING HUMAN.
SO NOW I FEEL THE NEED TO SHOW MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WHAT I DO
THAT IS WRITING.
JUST FOR YOU.
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Boundaries
Another day coming to an end for me, as I sit under my tree. I look out over the land to see just how far I can. You would think that there are no boundaries to stop your way; well it does not work like that I am sorry to say.
What are boundaries and why are they set into place for us to see? It is because that is the way it has to be.
Everyone has their own little world and when someone else tries to come into that world and change things that were set into place, it is called over stepping your boundaries, in plain English you have stepped into their world and shut them down. It does not matter that you don't see it, most of the time the damage is already done when this person say's anything about it. When it comes to the time where they cannot deal with it any longer they are going to want out. You can try anything you like; it just will not work for them anymore.
I am guilty of that myself that is what I have done to us. I have overstepped my boundaries when I shut my girlfriend down. I do not have or had that right in the first place, but because I needed someone to help me, I controlled everything we done.
Now I thought that I could get us up and running, because I had done it in the past. In the past I done it because I was a man, but now because I have changed my life and started on my path to be a woman, I have over stepped her boundaries and got her to be with me.
But like anything else there is a price to pay. Now we have gotten to the point that we may have to go our own ways, not because we want to, but because we may have to.
Sometimes You may wonder why would someone sit here and write this for anyone to read it, that is why I write, because I want you to read this and maybe someone else that is doing the same thing will read this. It is wrong what I do, I am not proud of myself at all, yet I do not want to be alone and it is hard for me just to let her go,
I cannot say that it would break my heart because I did that a long time ago when I shut her down from having some fun in life. Because of my heath things have changed here and all I want to do is my writing, but she wants to run and sing, I can't really do any of those things. She is like a Beautiful bird that flies above, she only wants to spread her wings and find her love. I can love her all I want, but that does not give me the right to overstep her boundaries, I would not want you to over step mine, because it ain't happening today.
I cannot blame her for being angry at me for what I have done, but I can and will blame myself for putting her on the run. I say run because I have told her that she needs to get away from someone like me, I am a bad person that does not respect her wishes, I am the one that judged her and what she is.
You will not believe that it was me trying to protect her when she needed protection from me. She was just trying to live her life, now I got her in my life, when all she wanted to do was be free.
She has not done anything wrong yet I accuse her of doing so before she ever leaves the house, so she just can't get up and go anywhere because of me.
So here we are back to the same question, why do I write here, because I love you my dear, I am proud of what you are making of me, you have taken along time, but maybe I am about to see. I always knew that I was a foolish man, but I did not know just how much of a fool I am.
There is no one that has ever given me anything till you came along, now I have everything I could want to own.
MYSELF
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GUILTLY
Sitting at my desk wanting to write, yet not sure what to write about. As you have read, we are having some problems and more than likely we will be parting ways is not because we don't love each other, it is because we do love each other.
You ask yourself why we would do that if we truly loved as we say we do. That is the thing, if I keep her here anymore than she wants to be here, then I am not respecting her wishes, am I. It is rough on me, for I am the one that does not want her to go, I will be honest, I need her, she has been the biggest part of my life, I have never met such a Human being as her. There have been times when just anything would set me off and I would just start yelling at her, she didn't do anything.
We have tried different things to try and help me. I am not sure if there is any help for me.
The way I see myself and what I am doing reminds me of all the bad that has happen to me. Somehow it is like everything that anyone has ever done me, I am doing to her.
I tell her I love her yet she has asked that I let her go home. I thought that she was home. The thing is that my life has changed and I am not sure that we are right for each other. I have been dealing with myself, and the guilt that I have had to endure because of what I do. I did not know what would happen when I tried to take over her life and called it love. In my heart I assumed that I was protecting her from the world around her, because of the fact that she is a musician and has been here all her life. The only thing wrong with that was she met me. Her life was simple and she was not doing anything but what she liked to do, when I came in, I was already being attacked by the public, so this is not new to me. I have been this way a long time and more than once someone has threaten me in public, and when it all comes down to it, it is always my fault, because I have chosen to live this way. I have been standing alone for the most part of my battle and I will continue to do so if I must. It is not for my rights that I fight for anymore, it is your rights to choose your way of life. Do you even realize that I started this battle before most of you were even born?
For 50 years I have seen the hatred and it has not changed for the most part, but I have changed and I am more ready to fight now then I have ever been and it is because of her I fight now, for her rights to live free, for her rights to be what she wants to be, for her rights just to be-able to walk away from me.
So because of what I might do, I feel that I must allow her to leave, This is the way I am looking at all this, I want to write and I want to fight, I do not want to get old, I do not want to be where I cannot care for me, I will die for the rights to be free, for it is part of my Density, and I am sure that I do not want her to see my end. I just want her to be my friend
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Can I learn to forgive?
I got to cook today, and for me that means a lot. It's not every day I can feel that way. I love to cook and make up a nice plate for Dinner, and when I have someone to do it for, it makes things even better.
I have been going through a lot of things and I am mentally and physically tired. I am trying now just to relax for a while; I have taken three pain pills and would like not to take any more tonight. There is one thing I can say about the Marine Corp I was in is that they taught you how to endure pain.
My friend Madame Jacqueline is doing just great as for being a friend, yet I cannot help but feel that I am hurting her as well as myself. Because of me, she has not had a chance to get a gig. I cannot help but feel that because of me things will get rough around here.
I called the People that are suppose to help people like me to live on our own, so that we can still feel like part of something. I asked if there was a program that would help me pay for help, so I could live at home and not in a home. She told me that the only thing that she could do was to have someone come to me three days a week to help me get dressed and cook for me, help me to clean, but I would have to give them 260.00 dollars out of my SS which is only 850.00 and as for as me not being able to drive, I would have to sit at where ever I had to go till the van came back to get me.
It's like I worked and I paid and I work some more for what. Oh, they will not come if someone else is living with me, get that. So I thought about a nursing home, I need to be thinking about these things because they look like they could be part of my future. Anyway, If I need to go there, they will take everything that is in my name away from me, and I will not be allow to have anything like a PC or anything else, They will take my van, anything in my checking account and my check every month. I will have nothing. There goes my freedom.
I will not give up so easy; we are going back to the Flea Market and try to move forward with our lives. I have decided that things will change for us, I am not putting out my signs or any photos of us, We are going out there to sell whatever we can, because we have no choice, I will not let anyone ever stop me from doing what I want to do or saying what I want to say, But I will also forgive anyone that thinks they are better than me or Madame.
I will forgive any fool that thinks he has the right to call us or any one like us names, I will forgive the asshole that thinks he is God. Because I am better than that, I am better than any of them. We will go and set up with our junk and if you come by fine, if you don't you lose, not me, I am One of the most interesting people I know. I can tell you a story and you will not know what is real. God give me a Brain to use as I see fit.
It is the only thing that I can control. and I need help with that, But most of all I have feelings, I hurt inside, In my life I have committed so much sin that I will never see Heaven or God.
I believe that God has chosen people like me to carry that cross that has become our burden, We are all now expected to live up to Gods way. Man has changed the holly words to make you believe what they want you to believe. There were no words written by God, but by Man.
In the name of God people have died, because someone else thinks that their God is telling them to do these things to others, that is not what God is about.
God to me is about what I do here, when I sit here and try to understand why and how did we become the creature with so much hate inside us that we would harm another human creature, yes, we are but creatures of God, just like all the rest of his Creatures, and I do not use the word as to say that God is a man, God is our voices, our cry's, our sadness and pain, God is our love and understanding, we are all part of what God is, but to have Good there must be evil, I am that evil here, that hatred, that hurting and that pain, You cannot hide, because we are everywhere. The fear that I put into your head brings your God closer to your heart, I cannot change the things that I have done, but I can change the way I feel about myself. I have never before been so afraid of death than I am right now. Because I was not allowed to walk into the House of your God, I feel that I am dammed for Hell.
We are going out to the Flea Market and I really don't care about anything but trying to sell something to help me keep my friend here to take care of me. I ask for nothing but respect and allow us to do what we need to do and earn something.
It is no longer important to me about how you feel about me.
It is more important to me to care about how I feel about me.
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DON'T JUDGE ANYONE ELSE
A lot of times we tend to judge a book by the cover, or for you that don't understand, we judge someone before we take the time to know who we are talking to. I have done it and so have you. It is in our nature to do that, but the right thing is to take the time to at least speak to the book, and then judge it.
I have been dealing with a lot of hate inside myself, and it has cause me to judge and doubt others before we speak
As you know by now we try to sell things at the market just like anyone else would, and there was confusion as to what I am. I am a human being first, asshole second, and in the end I am just like you, a person that has feelings and I cry just like you. Because of the way my life has been over the years, I had made a stand to write and speak about being different.
When things got rough and we were being treated badly out there, I just wanted to hate everyone, because I did not know who I could trust anymore, so I just started from the beginning. This is the way I see this, If you know me, and you say you are my friend then why do you call me he/ him/ sir/ I'm your brother, oh, yes, hey man, excuse me, but does it look like I want to be call anything else then Miss. I’m sorry if I come on strong, but if I look at you and I know you and you are my friend, then I will call you whatever you have chosen to be called. So if you are an asshole, rest assured I will call you that, because that is what you have shown me.
As a writer one must write about something, I have chosen to write about my life as a transgender living in what I call hell, but really it's just south Ga, lol. Anyway, I could have moved at anytime I wanted to I guest, but just how much of this fun I would have missed. Hell I live with a cross-dresser that does not care what anyone says about him/ her; I call her/ her, because it is the her, in her that I love. It does not matter how bad it get's with us, it can never be as bad as it was living with a woman, For them I had to be everything, the worker, the driver the man, huh, anyway, for This one I am allowed to be myself, and live the way I want to live, she has never stopped me from doing what I want to, but I have not done the same for her. You see, an artist has to have some sort of a model to draw, like a carpenter needs wood to build, A writer needs inspiration, sure I can sit here and write a tail or two, but I write about me, because I am a tail or two myself.
We are having problems because what I do is nonprofit, there is no income, I cannot pay her to take care of me, that means that I will have to let her go, so she can fine work and not lose her home, or I have to leave my home to help her. You may think, so one of you move, it's not that easy. Just because we are both transgender people that does not mean that we are perfect for each other.
I am going to be 62 in a few days, she is only 52 now. I am dying and she just wants to live, my life is coming to an end and hers has not begun, I am weak, she is strong, but because I have no one to care for me, she is trapped here to deal with my mood swings and it is hard for her to see me in so much pain that tears fall from my eyes, and there is nothing she can do. She tries hard to make me take my meds, but the pain is so bad at that point that I feel like why am I forced to live like this, what is it that I have not done, why can't I just go home?
This is the way I see this, do not make the mistake and take this anyway, but the way I write it. All my life, I have been told of this great God of yours, how he/she is suppose to love everyone here on this planet, yet you stand there and tell me I am going to hell, that I am the devil himself, that your Gods does not love me, well here we are, either you are lying and have no clue who your god is or, that your God sucks, because if you are an image of your God, we've all lose anyway. You see, it does not matter how much you believe in something that does not make it right. The way I see it is that your God really does love everyone, it is you that has the problems, and not you’re God.
I have wings like an angel yet that does not make me one. What I am is all the hate and all the hurt that you can shove down someone’s throat till they cannot and will not stand for it anymore. I am that person that will tell you to your face that you are a fool and that you are nothing like your God.
You see, I remember when Jesus was carrying that cross on his shoulder and I remember the blood flowing down his face as the crown of thorns cut into his forehead. The pain that he had to endure for you was unbelievable, He was put here by the same God that you worship and respect, as the father and Creator of all of us, then why would you question his creations such as me?
I do not walk with the Gods of our world, but I believe that I have been allowed the ability to write and speak out to stop the hatred and the discrimination against anyone for anything. I have chosen to carry that cross and my crown of thorns is the pain in my heart, Tell me about what is hurting you, allow me to help carry that cross, allow me to share your pain and I will shed your tears for you if I can.
Like many before that have had a Dream and have died for that Dream. I am not crazy or am I mad, I have been shown the way that it needs to be before any of us can live with the love and understanding of others.
Like many before me, I am mad at myself because I am dying and I cannot stop that, but it is not how I want to die. My idea of dying is being shoot or something standing up against hatred, I mean let me die for a cause for something that will make a difference, I am not a fool to stand in front of a man with a gun and challenge him when he feels he can disrespect me or anyone else for that matter, I will be the one to ask him if his gun is his balls and if he chooses to shoot me great, I have died for a cause, and his ass is grass. You see I am not afraid to die; it is how I will die that I am afraid of.
We are going into some changes in our lives right now and we are not sure how this will end, the thing is that all this, that is going on in my life, was not part of her life, because I have brought her into my life, it has cause some unrest between us, this is my battle that I have chosen to fight, I am the one that has been attacked over and over again and I am the one that has been chosen to say enough of your bullshit believes about what you think your God would do to me. I am not here to be judged by some 200 lbs dumb ass bitch or some redneck that picks his nose, what I am here for is to tell them that they have a problem themselves, don't judge anyone else.
The thing is I became just what I am fighting this weekend, I just wanted to tell everyone where they were wrong and that they needed to hear that from someone. I was angry at the whole flea market for what they done to us.
Sunday I was so hurt that I did not even want to go, but I had to, just for myself, I wanted to just sit there with a few things on my table and I put my writings there with my art work just to show people that I was not a bad person, that I had feelings and I cried some too. I was just going to tell them that I had nothing for sale except me. I wanted to see if there was anyone that would read what I write. Being hurt I would not speak, so they would read and just say that was ok, better good. I liked that, but the most heart-warming feedback was when a lady came with her husband but she always sat in the car, for some reason she got out and was looking around when she started reading and her husband was done, but she just kept on reading then told him that she like the writing, but said she did not know the writer, when I said it was me, she could not believe that someone like me would be able to write like that, because it was how her own son was feeling about his life, because he was gay, She than told me of him and that she felt what I wrote and that she would look at her own son with more open eyes.
I cried and I was really touched because at the same time a friend had stopped to say hello and walked right into it, I told them that I was going to stop writing and going to the market, and they told me that what I write about would help others like myself and my friend, It may not help me, but If I can open just one door for someone to follow through in life then I have done what I am suppose to do.
You need to remember that if you feel what I do is a sin.
Think about what you are doing to me, that is a greater sin.
If I am wrong then let your God deal with me.
You leave me that hell out of your life if you don't like me.
I am sure as hell going to leave you out of mine.
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YOU DO NOT HAVE OUR PERMISSION
TO SHARE THIS
SOUTHERN ACTS ENTERPRISES
SOUTHERN ACTS PRESENT'S
"THE MISFORTUNES"
WRITTEN BY BOBBIE JEAN CHIASSON
EDITED BY STEVEN LAWHORN
